Bond Back to Earth (Part II of II)

OCTOPUSSY (1983)

Negotiating on a picture-by-picture basis, Roger Moore appears in his penultimate Bond, despite screen tests by James Brolin and Michael Billington. With the announcement of an unofficial THUNDERBALL remake, Moore provided a safer pair of hands under the circumstances.

THE contrasting visuals of Berlin and India form the backdrop to the thirteenth official James Bond film, released the same year as Sean Connery's rival outing NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN. In an original screenplay only fleetingly inspired by Ian Fleming's short story collection Octopussy and The Living Daylights, Roger Moore returns for his sixth 007 adventure. Renegade Soviet General Orlov (outrageous Steven Berkoff) forms an allegiance with charismatic smuggler and exiled Afgan prince Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan, a close friend of Cubby Broccoli). Orlov plans to detonate a nuclear bomb on a US military base in Germany, surmising that a subsequent withdrawal will leave Western Europe open to his loyalist forces. Khan double crosses fellow smuggler Octopussy (Maud Adams) and uses her travelling circus to unwittingly transport the bomb to the base, which Bond manages to deactivate at the last second.

Swedish model and actress Adams is perfect as the titular role; others considered included Sybil Danning, Faye Dunaway and Persis Khambatta (Barbara Carrera was actually offered the part, but chose to work on NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN instead). Reviving an ancient Octopus cult, and living in a palace guarded by an all-female team of athletic assassins, Adams effortlessly brings the character to life. Octopussy is also fleshed-out with a back-story: she is the daughter of disgraced British agent Dexter Smythe, who 007 allowed to commit suicide rather than face the scandal and humiliation of a court martial; Smythe was found responsible for the theft of Chinese gold from North Korea, and the murder of two guides. 

Maud Adams featured in three Bonds. As well as her star turn here, Adams was Scaramanga's ill-fated lover in THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN, and an extra in A VIEW TO A KILL.

Despite the grounded intentions of director John Glen, silly gags, crude innuendo and racist lines ("that'll keep you in curry for a few weeks") still clash with some astounding sequences. While Bond's Tarzan yell, gorilla outfit and Barbara Woodhouseesque command of "sit!" to a tiger are low points, the sequence where 009 (Andy Bradford) is stalked and murdered by knife-throwing twins Mischka and Grischka (David and Tony Meyer) is tense and sinister, as is the use of a yo-yo buzz saw which kills Bond's ally in India Vijay (tennis professional Vijay Amritraj). Also, the opening credits sequence involving the Acrostar Mini Jet and a heat-seeking missile still stands up as one of the best, beautifully executed by a seamless mix of real jet, full-scale replicas and miniatures. This is a particular relief after the Blofeld debacle of FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, although completely unconnected to the main narrative.

With the "Battle of the Bonds" a non-starter as NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN suffered production delays, OCTOPUSSY posted strong numbers with its summer release. Overall it is a very odd entry, and usually included in that ever-increasing number of 'Better of the Worst' Bonds. In order to reinforce the fact that you were watching the only official 007 movie of 1983, the Bond theme is even used to break the Fourth Wall, when Vijay plays it on a snake-charming flute.

Bond Back to Earth (Part I of II)

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981)

Even by 1981 standards, outrage greeted the original FOR YOUR EYES ONLY poster; consequently, the overly shown buttocks were obscured by an extended swimsuit or shorts. More than one model alleged that she was the owner of the perfect pins, but it was finally revealed they belonged to twenty-two-year-old New York model Joyce Bartle.

AFTER the outer space excess of MOONRAKER, James Bond returned with a more grounded thriller. This fifth 007 picture starring Roger Moore was the directorial debut of Bond editor and second unit helmsman John Glen, who would hold the post for the rest of the 1980s. While in Albanian waters, the British spy ship St George's sinks and takes with it a top-secret transmitter for Polaris submarines, the ATAC. Bond's retrieval of the device is complicated by the involvement of crossbow-wielding Melina Havelock (dubbed Carole Bouquet) - a daughter out to avenge the murder of her marine archeologist parents, who were assisting MI6 - and Greek shipping magnate Aris Kristatos (Julian Glover), who plans to sell the ATAC to the Russians. With the aid of Kristatos rival Columbo (Topol), James and Melina raid Aris' mountain stronghold, where Bond chooses to destroy the ATAC rather than let it fall into the hands of General Gogol (Walter Gotell). Personally arriving at the hide-out, Gogol seems strangely unconcerned about this conclusion.

Glen's tenure gave Bond a harder edge, but the silliness always crept in. Any serious tone is immediately lost here in the most ridiculous pre-credits sequence in 007 history. Riffing on the then furious legal battle between Eon and Kevin McClory over the ownership of SPECTRE and Blofeld, a nameless bald villain in a wheelchair (John Hollis) - replete with white cat - traps Bond in a remote-controlled helicopter. Filmed at Beckton Gasworks, the scene ends with James scooping up the wheelchair with the helicopter rail and dropping him into a smokestack (the villain's pleading line of offering 007 a "delicatessen in stainless steel" is also perplexing). It's all very AUSTIN POWERS, creating a particularly jarring feel as we next see a touching visit to Bond's wife's grave. The film also ends on a ludicrous note, with the appearance of Margaret and Denis Thatcher impersonators Janet Brown and John Wells.

Marvel adapted FOR YOUR EYES ONLY as Marvel Comics Super Special #19, also released as a two-issue run. Written by Larry Hama and penciled by Howard Chaykin, it was the second comic tie-in for Bond, following DR NO first published by British Classics Illustrated.

After MOONRAKER, Moore insisted he would not be returning. The usual panic of finding a replacement ensued - Mel Gibson has said he turned down the role - but Roger eventually struck a last-minute deal. It can be argued that Moore gives his best performance, despite the uneasy age difference between him and two of his leading ladies. Bouquet mixes haunted and glacial with wooden, as if she can hardly believe she is in a 007 movie, but any actual romantic involvement is left to late on. This is in stark contrast to Bond's awkward relationship with teenage bimbo ice-skater Bibi Dahl (real-life professional Lynn-Holly Johnson), sponsored by Kristatos as Olympic material. The character name play on baby doll may well fit the pouting attention-seeker, but her lusting for the secret agent and East German skiing champion/KGB agent Eric Kriegler (John Wyman) hardly fits the remit of a back-to-basics adventure. In fact, the most believable love interest is provided by Pierce Brosnan's late wife Cassandra Harris as fake countess Lisl, Columbo's mistress who spends a passionate evening with Bond before being murdered by Kristatos' mute hit man Locque (Michael Gothard).

Adapting themes from Ian Fleming's short stories For Your Eyes Only and Risico, the most effective action sequence - a shark-based keelhauling - is actually from Live and Let Die. Overlong and suffering from grainy photography and horrendous early 1980s fashions, FOR YOUR EYES ONLY plays it too safe, and is easily one of the most instantly disposable entries. At least the title song performed by Sheena Easton achieved notoriety - even though it replaced a highly superior Blondie effort - as it was nominated as Best Original Song at the Oscars and Golden Globes. To date, Easton is the only theme artist to appear in the actual title sequence.