Bond Back to Earth (Part I of II)

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981)

Even by 1981 standards, outrage greeted the original FOR YOUR EYES ONLY poster; consequently, the overly shown buttocks were obscured by an extended swimsuit or shorts. More than one model alleged that she was the owner of the perfect pins, but it was finally revealed they belonged to twenty-two-year-old New York model Joyce Bartle.

AFTER the outer space excess of MOONRAKER, James Bond returned with a more grounded thriller. This fifth 007 picture starring Roger Moore was the directorial debut of Bond editor and second unit helmsman John Glen, who would hold the post for the rest of the 1980s. While in Albanian waters, the British spy ship St George's sinks and takes with it a top-secret transmitter for Polaris submarines, the ATAC. Bond's retrieval of the device is complicated by the involvement of crossbow-wielding Melina Havelock (dubbed Carole Bouquet) - a daughter out to avenge the murder of her marine archeologist parents, who were assisting MI6 - and Greek shipping magnate Aris Kristatos (Julian Glover), who plans to sell the ATAC to the Russians. With the aid of Kristatos rival Columbo (Topol), James and Melina raid Aris' mountain stronghold, where Bond chooses to destroy the ATAC rather than let it fall into the hands of General Gogol (Walter Gotell). Personally arriving at the hide-out, Gogol seems strangely unconcerned about this conclusion.

Glen's tenure gave Bond a harder edge, but the silliness always crept in. Any serious tone is immediately lost here in the most ridiculous pre-credits sequence in 007 history. Riffing on the then furious legal battle between Eon and Kevin McClory over the ownership of SPECTRE and Blofeld, a nameless bald villain in a wheelchair (John Hollis) - replete with white cat - traps Bond in a remote-controlled helicopter. Filmed at Beckton Gasworks, the scene ends with James scooping up the wheelchair with the helicopter rail and dropping him into a smokestack (the villain's pleading line of offering 007 a "delicatessen in stainless steel" is also perplexing). It's all very AUSTIN POWERS, creating a particularly jarring feel as we next see a touching visit to Bond's wife's grave. The film also ends on a ludicrous note, with the appearance of Margaret and Denis Thatcher impersonators Janet Brown and John Wells.

Marvel adapted FOR YOUR EYES ONLY as Marvel Comics Super Special #19, also released as a two-issue run. Written by Larry Hama and penciled by Howard Chaykin, it was the second comic tie-in for Bond, following DR NO first published by British Classics Illustrated.

After MOONRAKER, Moore insisted he would not be returning. The usual panic of finding a replacement ensued - Mel Gibson has said he turned down the role - but Roger eventually struck a last-minute deal. It can be argued that Moore gives his best performance, despite the uneasy age difference between him and two of his leading ladies. Bouquet mixes haunted and glacial with wooden, as if she can hardly believe she is in a 007 movie, but any actual romantic involvement is left to late on. This is in stark contrast to Bond's awkward relationship with teenage bimbo ice-skater Bibi Dahl (real-life professional Lynn-Holly Johnson), sponsored by Kristatos as Olympic material. The character name play on baby doll may well fit the pouting attention-seeker, but her lusting for the secret agent and East German skiing champion/KGB agent Eric Kriegler (John Wyman) hardly fits the remit of a back-to-basics adventure. In fact, the most believable love interest is provided by Pierce Brosnan's late wife Cassandra Harris as fake countess Lisl, Columbo's mistress who spends a passionate evening with Bond before being murdered by Kristatos' mute hit man Locque (Michael Gothard).

Adapting themes from Ian Fleming's short stories For Your Eyes Only and Risico, the most effective action sequence - a shark-based keelhauling - is actually from Live and Let Die. Overlong and suffering from grainy photography and horrendous early 1980s fashions, FOR YOUR EYES ONLY plays it too safe, and is easily one of the most instantly disposable entries. At least the title song performed by Sheena Easton achieved notoriety - even though it replaced a highly superior Blondie effort - as it was nominated as Best Original Song at the Oscars and Golden Globes. To date, Easton is the only theme artist to appear in the actual title sequence.