"Our Fish Are Family!" (Part II of II)

DOCTOR WHO - WARRIORS OF THE DEEP (1984)

DOCTOR WHO - LEGEND OF THE SEA DEVILS (2022)

In WARRIORS OF THE DEEP, The Silurians and Sea Devils return to DOCTOR WHO after over a decade. Redesigns further cheapen this notorious entry: the stockier Silurians now speaking through their third eye, and the Sea Devils donning a Samurai-inspired outfit.

SIMILAR to THE WAR BETWEEN THE LAND AND THE SEA, WARRIORS OF THE DEEP is a Cold War allegory. Disastrously starting Classic DOCTOR WHO's twenty-first season, The Doctor (Peter Davison), Tegan (Janet Fielding) and Turlough (Mark Strickson) find themselves on Earth's Sea Base 4 (in "around two thousand and eighty-four.") Within it, a team led by Commander Vorshak (Tom Adams) undergo regular nuclear missile tests to ensure they are ready to combat their rival (equally unnamed) superpower. However, surviving members of a Silurian triad revive a colony of Sea Devils to use the weapons to attack the Base enemy, provoking a global catastrophe which will allow the reptiles to reclaim the world. The monsters also send an electrified sea beast - the Myrka - to infiltrate the humans, who are also housing spies Nilson (Ian McCulloch) and Solow (Ingrid Pitt).

Early in its production, Margaret Thatcher announced a snap General Election, creating sudden demand for BBC studio space. Unexpectedly losing two weeks from an already pressured schedule, many signs of this are amplified to ramshackle proportions: scenes had little or no rehearsal time, actors fluff lines because only one take could be afforded, and sets had to be constantly realigned. The Myrka costume - which resembles a pantomime horse - was completed only an hour before shooting, leaving the puppeteers high on glue, and as paint had not dried, it visibly rubbed off on surroundings. The ultimate irony was that the creature was controlled by William Perrie and John Asquith, famous for RENTAGHOST's Dobbin. The Silurians and Sea Devils fare little better, looking static and childish (taking cue from THE SEA DEVILS, actor heads are at neck level for the underwater menace, giving a wobbling and crooked appearance).

Genetically modified by Silurians from an unknown species of dinosaur, The Myrka in WARRIORS OF THE DEEP holds a particular resonance in Time Lord lore. Its attack on polystyrene bulkhead doors and electrocution of a karate-kicking Ingrid Pitt are forever burnt into the retina of long-suffering Whovians.

Written by Johnny Byrne and directed by Pennant Roberts, WARRIORS OF THE DEEP loses its nuclear tensions by becoming a monster of the week show. In hindsight it would have been better to close down the serial and regroup, as the budget and time restraints force everything to be flat and workmanlike (the "battle" scenes have the protagonists lined up like toy soldiers). Cementing its catalogue of chaos, the four-parter permanently bathes its sets in bright light, enabling the viewer to easily identify every continuity error and mishap. Under these circumstances it seems harsh for Michael Grade to use the Myrka in a clip for his guest appearance on ROOM 101, many regarding the twenty-first season opener as a key element towards the slow death and eventual cancellation of the programme.

Broadcast as a no-so swashbuckling Easter Special, modern DOCTOR WHO maligns the underwater warriors further in LEGEND OF THE SEA DEVILS. Written by Ella Road and Chris Chibnall, the Thirteenth Doctor (Jodie Whittaker), with companions Yaz (Mandip Gill) and Dan (John Bishop), set out to find the hidden treasure of the Flor de la Mar. However, they end up at the wrong time and team up with Madam Ching (Crystal Yu), as they battle the aquatic foes for the "Keystone." It's a bloated, erratic mess, with amateurish action and endless technobabble. There are also attempts to develop the relationship between The Doctor and Yaz, which entails a series of head tilts for the latter.

LEGEND OF THE SEA DEVILS has an updated design by Ray Holman and Robert Allsop. Made shorter to compensate for Jodie Whittaker's height, Holman "included some nods to the original look, weaving netting through the costumes" and their armour. When creating the heads, Allsop took measurements from a cast for the 1980s Sea Devils. Apparently, the newer masks enabled the creatures to have "more realistic expressions."

The Chibnall Era is a clear indicator of the downgrade in writing between show-runners. Characterisation is one-dimensional, forcing actors to dig-deep for charisma (a particular issue for Gill). As a viewer we are constantly told how brilliant everyone is, which is a total disconnect with anything on screen. This penultimate episode for Chibbers is particularly hollow, further dragged down by horrible CGI (it looks like a 1990s video game) and the Sea Devils themselves, reduced to bug-eyed, rubbery imitation. Whitakker is forced to prattle on to whatever boring exposition is in place, and often oblivious to a story happening (even an energised scene is stopped in its tracks with more Doctor/Yaz emotional hankering).

"Our Fish Are Family!" (Part I of II)

THE WAR BETWEEN THE LAND AND THE SEA (2025)

This DOCTOR WHO spin-off has totally re-designed Sea Devils. A crushing disappointment, it achieves the difficult balancing act of unintentional hilarity, numbing boredom and badly timed fish jokes.

PENNED by Russell T. Davies and Pete McTighe, THE WAR BETWEEN THE LAND AND THE SEA is a five-part DOCTOR WHO companion piece that completed the BBC and Disney contractual obligation. What was built-up as a more adult series is quickly replaced by the usual Kinder-garden-level lecturing and amateur performances. Barclay Pierre-Dupont (Russell Tovey) is a low-level UNIT Transportation Clerk, estranged from partner Barbara (Ann Akinjirin) and non-binary teenage child Kirby (Cat Gannon). However, due to an HR error (!), Barclay becomes part of a UNIT task-force to engage with "Homo Aqua," a sea species led by Salt (Gugu Mbatha-Raw). Understandably, they are furious about the contamination humanity has caused to the oceans, and choose Barclay as their contact in peace talks, as he was the only person to show respect with a deceased Sea Devil.

Within minutes of the first episode airing on BBC1, viewers were complaining of major audio issues, some even relying on subtitles to follow the story (fan forums also quickly renamed the unwieldy title TWATBLAST). The programme falls into the same political trap as Davies' second WHO show-running tenure, critiques that are mere broad strokes. Pierre-Dupont is a metaphor for modern entertainment, that is, a tide of mistaken hiring, and the shoehorned diversity here is illustrated in a now twin UNIT wheelchair attack of Bingham (Ruth Madeley) and Chesney (tetraplegic George Robinson). And in a love story nobody is interested in, we get more air time between UNIT commander-in-chief Kate Lethbridge-Stewart (Jemma Redgrave) and toy boy Colonel Ibrahim (Alexander Devrient); thankfully Ibrahim is shot dead by an equivalent of the JFK magic bullet. 

It is no surprise that Russell T. Davies writes plenty of sweating, shower and topless scenes for Gay icon Russell Tovey.

There certainly is no war in the exciting, battle-sense, nor much screen time for the sea creatures themselves. What we do get is blanket posturing about ineffectual and corrupt power structures, with the Davies-written final episode as batshit crazy as his recent WHO finales. The laborious threads that had been woven are now adrenalised into a finishing line of signal disruptors, ancient unity and an engineered virus so clever it can only affect nine out of every ten Sea Devils. Yearning for a new life with Salt, Barclay abandons humanity and develops gills, swimming away with her after an underwater ballet that reminds of the interplay between Julia Adams and THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON.

It's a catalogue of moments, and these are not reinforced. For example, when all the pollutants from the sea are hurled back at us - including what's left of the Titanic - all subsequent scenes do not show any rubbish on the streets. Much simpler settings are also fumbled, such as the UNIT contamination chamber, which isn't even contained. The only way TWATBLAST can make any sense whatsoever is that it all exists in the fragmenting mind of Kate Lethbridge-Stewart. In a typically bizarre coda, she asks a jogger on a beach to pick up a discarded bottle. When the man refuses - somehow oblivious to the events of the series - Kate pulls a gun on him and insists he picks up his rubbish, becoming increasingly unhinged.

"Welcome to the Members Club"

The DOCTOR WHO Extermination (2023-25)

"Never seen a TARDIS before?" Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson first appeared together in the 2023 Christmas special THE CHURCH ON RUBY ROAD. Fighting a flying ship of baby-eating goblins, the Time Lord was now in a God-fuelled meta-fantasy. Two years later, DOCTOR WHO redefined the meaning of Shitshow.

RUSSELL T. Davies' second stint as show-runner for New WHO began with three 60th Anniversary shows, and continued with two eight-episode seasons and a couple of Christmas specials. Unaffectionately known as the RTD2 phase, everything felt immediately wrong. The DEI hiring in front and behind the camera was dutifully delivered, but there was something else; we had musical numbers, breaking of the fourth wall, and literal flashbacks to the classic series. In LUX, The Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) and companion Belinda (Varada Sethu) climb out of a television and discuss the show with three gobsmacked fans. It brought self-awareness to new levels, creating a sense that RTD2 itself was a simulation.

Chris Chibnall and Jodie Whittaker altered WHO DNA in a number of ways. There was the mix of fan fiction-level stories, change to lore and leveling of "The White Male Gaze," but it became impossible to discuss without being perceived as a misogynistic troll. Yet the second Davies period broke it as an IP. What is most perplexing is how gleefully destructive Russell treated his own cherished childhood favourite, especially with an alleged £80m budget boost from Disney. Equally unfathomable is how an entertainment can be bankrolled to a designated, minority target audience (as an approximation, a 2023 global survey found that only 9% of adults identify as LGBTQ+). For any franchise it is a marriage made in hell, with obvious results: stories written by unqualified individuals forever the victim, sledgehammer allegories, and falling ratings.

For the RTD2 writing pool, we had transgender author Juno Dawson, Nigerian poet Inua Ellams and bisexual television director Kate Herron in the mix. The inclusion of Dawson was particularly controversial, having written This Book is Gay, a 2014 LGBTQ+ manual for "ages 0-18."

Science fantasy/horror communities have always been particularly rabid, linking everyday happiness to beloved shows similar to sport-team worship. When a long-standing programme evolves as a specific moral, it is probably best not for the stars to tell them to "go and touch grass" if you don't like the direction (Gatwa) or "just watch it and get over it" (Gibson). It is this dismissive reaction that underpins the modern zeitgeist, that viewers should not voice any opinion unless it aligns with theirs. Even with the worst viewing figures in the shows history - albeit hindered by the streaming policy - DEI WHO rejoiced not only because the fringe were the centre of the conversation, but that unhappy fans - particularly from the classic age - were leaving their playpen.

Modern WHO acolytes' simple appeal for any disgruntled Classic followers is to just stop watching. A bold request, which would be easier if from 2005 it had been revamped to an unrecognisable degree. But it is more than nostalgia, rather a national institution with a rich history. Chibnall/RTD2 has not been about world-building, more going back to a box of toys and distorting concepts to their agenda because they can. The liberal use of actual footage from yesteryear - and general character heritage - best illustrates this double standard. For example, in ROGUE, Gatwa's instant infatuation with Jonathan Groff is fleetingly interrupted by showing him his previous incarnations. This even included Richard E. Grant's Doctor from the 2003 webcast SCREAM OF THE SHALKA.

Russell T. Davies returned "to protect [DOCTOR WHO]" from Disney. Unfortunately, his flair for emotional clout was thrown out the window, replaced by nonsensical cartoon versions of legacy characters. Russell has an increasing habit of writing himself into a corner, then pulling a deus ex machina to get out of it.

Politics have always been evident in Classic WHO: the Galactic Federation in THE CURSE OF PELADON; decrepit bureaucracy within THE DEADLY ASSASSIN; the dystopia of THE HAPPINESS PATROL et al. But Davies deals with affairs of state with all the gravitas of buzzwords, whirlwind subtexts without any time or need for reflection. It is always just an angle: the villain of THE ROBOT REVOLUTION is Incel Alan Budd (Jonny Green), a one-dimensional representation set up for ridicule. In a world gone mad, Juno Dawson's pro-Palestine THE INTERSTELLAR SONG CONTEST was paradoxically screened the same week the BBC finally sacked Gary Lineker over sharing an anti-Semitic tweet. It's all one checklist after another, superficial and non-nuanced. There is no space to discuss or educate, just to tell people to fuck off.

Filmed back-to-back, the double eight-episode runs are clearly not enough time for any endeavour to breath, let alone one which attempted to bring back past glories leading up to two finales. In the end of the first block we had "God of Death" Sutekh - who had hitched a lift on the TARDIS since PYRAMIDS OF MARS - banished by a dog whistle and leash; and the whole Whoniverse waited with baited breath for the second conclusion, where The Rani (Anita Dobson/Archie Panjabi) resurrected Omega to start a rebirth of The Time Lords. The internet went into meltdown with theories and leaks: would Gatwa regenerate into Billie Piper - with the aid of Whittaker - providing Davies with a perfect symmetry?

Two-time RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE winner Jinkx Monsoon as Maestro from THE DEVIL'S CHORD. Whovians still watched the show akin to a disastrously failing relationship: they know they should let go, but hold on in the vain hope of past glories.

And the answer was yes. DOCTOR WHO was now a gimmick, with Piper not even listed as The Doctor in the end credits ("and introducing Billie Piper" is suitably open-ended, and the regeneration on screen didn't actually finish). Was this actually Bad Wolf, kick-started by The Doctor shooting regeneration beams into the TARDIS, or Rose from the parallel dimension? Obviously affected by re-shoots due to Disney's baulking and Gatwa's itchy feet, THE REALITY WAR nonetheless was as underwhelming as the EMPIRE OF DEATH, failing to tie up many loose ends (Susan (Carole Ann Ford)?) and changing its own narrative (Belinda seemed to be another character all together, enthusiastically wanting to go on more travels, but most jarringly this career-minded individual was now a gushing parent). And Omega was reduced to a giant zombie that just has the time to eat a Rani before being dispatched back to the Under-verse.

In a July 2025 interview on the My Manchester podcast - a concern "focusing on the arts, social and charitable scene" - Davies revealed that one of his driving goals since taking the reins again was to steer the show away from what he called “very straight, very masculine, very testosterone-y” science fiction, and that DOCTOR WHO needed to "fill a space." This is so off the mark to be insulting, creating an issue that simply isn't there. The Doctor has never been macho-SF, rather a character that uses compassion and intelligence over physical force. The Time Lord's curiosities and eccentricities made him a beloved and unique creation, standing apart from the laser-blasting antics of other major franchises. It was another jaw-dropping quotation from the show-runner, particularly as it was Davies himself that shifted the dynamic in the 2005 reboot with the Tenth Doctor and Rose. So it was hypocritical to hear him talking about moving the show away from being too straight when he was the one who made The Doctor heterosexual to begin with.

"Oh, hello!" When Classic WHO stumbled towards a hiatus and cancellation in the 1980s, it suffered from an egotistical pantomime producer and camp light entertainment. RTD2 became a duplication of the earlier pause, with Billie Piper - like the show - literally hanging in the balance.

And in the same month, when you thought things couldn't get any more unhinged, Gatwa appeared on SUNDAY WITH LAURA KUENSSBERG to promote his play Born With Teeth. In a truly bizarre interview, the 32-year-old, wearing a Ballet Black promotional shirt, said that he walked away from DOCTOR WHO "because I’m getting old. My body was tired. My body, my knee. And I’ve now just started doing some ballet. So I’m making really great decisions here." He added, "[being The Doctor is] the most amazing job in the world, a job that any actor would dream of. And because it’s so good, it’s strenuous. Takes a lot out of you physically, emotionally, mentally. So, it was time." It remains to be seen how the geriatric actor gets on with his ballet adventures, a pursuit that requires stamina and flexibility whatever the level. It is also particularly strange for Gatwa to claim playing The Doctor was draining, as he was only playing himself.

Things became even more uncomfortable when Kuenssberg asked him about his withdrawal from being the UK’s Eurovision spokesperson, an appearance that formed part of a WHO crossover for Juno Dawson's episode. When Kuenssberg asked if Gatwa had pulled out due to the involvement of Israeli contestant Yuval Raphael, the actor, who has openly expressed pro-Palestine views, replied: "no, I was just very busy." It must be difficult to be such a prima donna, especially for the time it would take to read out a few jury scores. Gatwa claims he withdrew a long time before it was actually announced - which he states was "interesting." 

Ghosts at the BBC (Part II of II)

CAN WE EXPLAIN THE POLTERGEIST? (1965)

40 MINUTES: GHOST TRAIN (1989)

Cambridge University's George Owen is our stilted guide for CAN WE EXPLAIN THE POLTERGEIST?, a meandering half-hour which questions orthodox science and the components of historical and contemporary noisy spirits. Owen had written a book under the same title, which won the 1963 Parapsychology Foundation Award for Original Treatises.

BATTERSEA in the 1950s and Enfield in the 1970s are two cornerstones in UK poltergeist activity. This type of paranormal event is harder to define than ghosts; even parapsychologists can't agree on its nature: are they entities which prefer physical disturbances, such as knocking, throwing cups across a room and upturning furniture, or rather unknown energies driven by stress? They certainly like to mess with your stuff, but so do attention-seeking adolescents intent on pranks. The pointed question CAN WE EXPLAIN THE POLTERGEIST? was asked by George Owen - Fellow and Mathematics lecturer at Trinity College, Cambridge - an academic archetype who quickly reassures the viewer that "poltergeists are even rarer than murder." 

Hardly Fox Mulder, Owen investigates three occurrences, beginning with the then topical case of Swansea housewife Mrs Marcia Howell. Secondly, events from the early 1960s are recounted from the famous Sauchie, Scotland story of Virginia Campbell. Here, family physician William Logan is given extended screen time in reading from Virginia's diary, and his own experience in seeing "puckering" bed sheets and pillows. For our final tale we are off with George to Northfleet, Kent, for what the presenter intriguingly refers to as "another type" of poltergeist. However, after he describes footsteps, strange smells, female apparitions and a glowing, levitating bed, he probably means haunted house.

Despite its haphazard nature, GHOST TRAIN and its ilk are certainly preferable to modern documentaries and YouTube ghost hunters.

You could travel by Intercity into GHOST TRAIN, an episode of the 40 MINUTES documentary strand which ran on BBC2 from 1981 to 1994. We open with four nurses setting up to spend the night in "the most haunted house in Britain" - Chingle Hall near Preston - to raise money for their hospital. Then a cut to Helen McCormick - who has "always seen ghosts" - living in Chorley. She recounts a large crucifix being found in her cellar; soon after, Mrs McCormick starts to see a monk - who she calls Dominic - walk past her kitchen window. While sketching the figure, which is now seen frequently inside the house, Helen is clearly not worried, calling him a "lovely" ghost who once did a little dance.

Next up is Reverend Jack Richardson at Harnham Hall in Northumberland. Here he blesses the earthly remains of Kate Babington, who died as a prisoner in 1670, in the hope of putting her spirit to rest. This uninspiring trip is followed by a bus driver telling of how he rescued his aunt after a warning from an apparition, and a schoolgirl seeing her deceased grandmother. Lastly we have civil engineer and part-time clairsentient Eddie Burks summoned by RAF Linton-On-Ouse to contact the ghost of an airman. Burks describes his abilities in releasing forms from their predicament as "like turning a key and letting someone out of prison."

Built in the shape of a cross, Chingle Hall has suffered almost every type of paranormal phenomena over its long history, from apparitions and poltergeists, to EVP and spontaneous combustion of wooden beams.

As the train speeds through the countryside we see a number of disembodied talking heads, with snippets of creepy tales and spooky facts adding to the random feel. The credits roll with a nurse's catch up, who discuss their time at Chingle Hall with the current owner. Unfortunately there is nothing too interesting in their draughts, door knocking and a stopped watch. In the end, as our impromptu train passenger himself turns to the other side, the carriage cleaner fittingly puts a newspaper report about the nurses in the bin.

Chingle Hall was a long-held fascination for author Peter Underwood and occultist Dennis Wheatley. Originally known as Singleton Hall, Eleanor de Singleton was born in 1567, and both of her parents died before she reached the age of six. Eleanor was then reputedly imprisoned by her guardians, whereby the two uncles repeatedly sexually abused her. Eleanor's harrowing story ended when she either gave birth to a Hydrocephalic baby, or she survived only to be murdered. Together with this understandably tortured soul, there is also the story of Franciscan priest John Wall, born at the Hall in 1620. Hung, drawn and quartered for not forsaking his religion, a group of nuns were said to have brought his head back to Chingle and buried it somewhere within its boundaries.

GHOST TRAIN illustrates the needs of the human mind as much as what lies beyond. Like all supernatural compilations, it is a casebook for wishful thinking and personal yearning.

If you are told a house is haunted, chances are you will amplify every noise, creak and temperature change into an unnatural situation. Even though we can hallucinate under a variety of scientific notions - sleep deprivation, high stress, infrasonic waves et al - it is easier to tell a spooky yarn. This sense of unnerving historical and psychological baggage truly haunts the human psyche. We are hard-wired to make sense of the nonsensical, and to present narratives to relieve repressed anxieties. Still possessing a predatory fear, ghost stories are linear in their make-up, retreading the same elements because we refuse to accommodate scientific advancement. Be it William Logan's moving pillows or Helen McCormick's friendly monk, they are imprints of vulnerable locations and reassuring religion. Unfortunately, brain chemistry will remain the biggest mystery of all, as we fail to accept the eternal abyss.

Ghosts at the BBC (Part I of II)

THE GHOST HUNTERS (1975)

A key Haunted Generation entry, THE GHOST HUNTERS reaches for the tweed jacket and enough clunky equipment to shake a spirit at.

THE GHOST HUNTERS is a fifty-minute BBC documentary described in the Radio Times as thus: "Ghosts abound in Britain. Thousands of people have seen and heard what they believe to be phantom footsteps, abnormal phenomena, and ghosts of all shapes and sizes. In tonight's documentary, Hugh Burnett visits some of the people who have tried to track them down, or heard and seen things they cannot explain. The film ranges from a haunted house, a haunted inn, even a theatre haunted by a butterfly - to Borley Church." The most memorable sequence is kept to last, as a tape recorder is left inside overnight at Borley; it captures a creaking door and an otherworldly, melancholic sigh.

The amount of scientific babble rivals the pseudo-extravagance of American documentaries of the time. We open with Benson Herbert - the father of electrical-based spookiness - investigating a Wiltshire pub, where he surmises that unconscious energy of some people can influence the attachment and movement of ghosts. He is aided by faithful assistants Vicki and Reg, who help set up such nonsensical aids as an anti-fatigue "negative ion pistol," and an infrared device which can "detect a candle a quarter of a mile away." More hardware is on show when John Cutton, a retired Naval commander, plugs in some apparatus which has a "vibrator" and a wind vane to detect draughts of air. This will set off cameras to snap the apparitions, though ultimately this particular ghost hunter believes manifestations are created in the mind anyway.

Chair of the Ghost Club, interviewee Peter Underwood also penned Ghosts of Borley, Borley Postscript and The Borley Rectory Companion. 

Burnett tries to remain grounded, but rightfully questions the endlessly archaic theories. Andrew Green - the media labelled "Spectre Inspector" and author of Ghost Hunting: A Practical Guide - states that telepathy and electromagnetic rays can contact events of the past, then draws on a survey that states that 61% of ghost sightings in this country are of living people. This figure comes from The Census for Hallucinations, a survey conducted from 1889 to 1892 that sought to determine the frequency with which people were experiencing auditory or visual illusions. It is interesting that Green is quoting this almost a century on, and even more interesting in how it illustrates the shift in how we now perceive ghosts.

After our visit at the home of Green - which includes an alleged impromptu visit from three boys - we are treated to a tour of Bath by "ghost collector" Mrs Royal, then a vicar stating that entities are guiding, heavenly bodies; the presenter wonders why then, that ghosts usually appear specifically clothed. Unsurprisingly this bamboozles the Man of God, who you feel wants to swiftly retreat to his less-demanding brethren. As the Borley Church segment closes the programme, Peter Underwood - the prolific author who began the trend for regional haunted books - reinforces a more ethereal explanation, that we are being recorded on some eternal tape. The documentary certainly packs a lot in, and acts as a fascinating para-historical snapshot, but plays more as an examination of the human brain than anything paranormal.

Werewolf at the BBC

NATIONWIDE: THE HEXHAM HEADS (1976)

Fifteen years after its release, Oliver Reed's first starring role in Hammer's CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF was still haunting audiences. Or, more specifically, fleetingly glimpsed on a current affairs programme.

IF you wanted to get started on the trail of UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, or delve into the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, the 1970s was the time for you. Part of the reason why the selling of the paranormal was so resolute in this decade is that a large majority of the stories purported to be based on real events, murder cases or ancient texts and artefacts. However perplexing the case of the Hexham Heads is, it resonates because we are looking at mundane settings, with dark, ancient powers creeping into the modern world. 

When two small stone heads were dug up in a Hexham back garden in 1971, who knew what shenanigans would endure. The pieces would move on their own, create poltergeist activity, and even manifest a "half-man, half sheep" creature (the latter may actually have been a prank with a drunk staggering around with a carcass on his back). When the heads were transferred to the Southampton home of Dr Ann Ross, an expert in Celtic finds, the sightings of a strange beast continued. On Halloween morning 2024, the BBC made available the infamous teatime NATIONWIDE coverage. Long considered lost, this amazing ten-minute snippet of the supernatural only has audio for the latter stages, but includes a couple of spiked heads and - to illustrate the alleged monster - a clip of Oliver Reed attacking the camera from CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF. 

NATIONWIDE's Luke Casey amongst some stone heads. Celts believed that the head contains the human soul, and was capable of living independently after death, possessing powers of prophecy and fertility. There are many tales in which "living heads" preside over Celtic feasts.

Broadcast on a cold February evening, the following night presenter Sue Lawley had to issue an apology, after phone complaints from angry parents on behalf of their traumatised children (although a trigger warning was apparently given). This has long been considered the holy grail of lost British paranormal media, yet the story of the Hexham Heads is a convoluted fortean yarn. The beginning of wolf-based creatures being associated with the Northumbrian market town of Hexham and nearby Allendale can be traced to brutal cattle slayings of 1904. And NATIONWIDE could only provide a snapshot of the sheer breadth of strangeness.

The fragments were found at the 3 Rede Avenue residence of the Robsons, but the weirdness soon spread to neighbours the Dodd family and consequently to the Ross abode. Although the families allegedly never communicated about specifics, the man beast became a mainstay, which no doubt pleased subscribers to the Stone Tape Theory. Mentioned by reporter Luke Casey in the segment, this pseudoscience was developed by intellectuals and psychic researchers and popularised by Nigel Kneale's BBC drama THE STONE TAPE. It states that historical information can be released and replayed from rock and other material. Had the heads unleashed traumatic events of yesteryear in the shape of a werewolf? Not according to Des Craigie, the previous resident of 3 Rede Avenue, who in 1972 claimed he had carved the stones as a toy for his daughter.

Dr Ann Ross wrote and collaborated on numerous publications detailing Celtic Britain. She remained open to the possibility that the Hexam stone heads could be modern, and crafted in the Pagan Celtic style.

Southampton University could not date the heads, though they identified solid rock rather than a composite. Actually a grey sandstone with a high degree of quartz, this material is in keeping with formations in the Hexham area. With such a nondescript conclusion, the heads were acquired in 1977 by chemist and earth scientist Don Robins, who believed in the relationship between stone and the human nervous system. Keeping the heads in his shed and around the house, he never saw a werewolf, but constantly had a sense of unease when around them. Lending them for "dowsing experiments" to alleged engineer and paranormal researcher Frank Hyde, Robins writes in his book The Secret Language of Stone, Hyde "seemed to have vanished as completely as if he had walked into a fairy hill in a folk tale." The location of the stones is still unknown.

King of Outer Space (Part II of II)

OUT OF THIS WORLD (1977)

JON RONSON'S FOR THE LOVE OF FAITH: AETHERIUS SOCIETY (1998)

SHAUN RYDER ON UFOS: WORSHIP AND ABDUCTION (2013)

In OUT OF THIS WORLD, George King is on Prayer Power Battery duty. The self-appointed cosmic guru also shows off his George Adamski-inspired UFO model, the go-to piece for The Aetherius Society. This was also used by "Mr Roberts" in an episode of ONE PAIR OF EYES.

MANKIND'S hard-wired religious instincts, and innate yearning to look to the sky for answers, is addressed in the BBC's OUT OF THIS WORLD, a documentary that nicely sits amongst the pseudo-fortean output of the 1970s. Segments include George King on Holdstone Down recounting his contact with Jesus, former diplomat Gordon Creighton theorising on parallel realities and humanity being the result of "superior engineering," and House of Lords member William Francis Brinsley Le Poer Trench, 8th Earl of Clancarty, conveniently mentioning his book Secret of the Ages: UFOs from Inside the Earth. Trench would also state in The Sky People that Adam and Eve, Noah and many others from The Bible originally lived on Mars, and that he knew a former U.S. test pilot who was present at a meeting between President Eisenhower and a group of aliens.

The JON RONSON'S FOR THE LOVE OF FAITH episode on The Aetherius Society features five acolytes waxing lyrical on the Cosmic Masters manifesting as wisdom. Apparently it has been no coincidence that the voices from space started during the Atomic age, and that our extraterrestrial councillors have been fundamental in the safeguarding of the human race at such a dangerous time (their craft have also closely monitored our space travel). Everything exists in spiritual planes, the guests explain, which can conveniently dilute any kind of scientific fact: even though the planets in our solar system are all inhospitable, the Cosmic Masters can simply appear and disappear at whim due to this metaphysical existence. Since his passing in 1997, the members also announce that they don't actually know where King is, but that he has certainly become an "Avatar," a suitably abstract labelling.

Shaun Ryder has been obsessed with UFOs since he saw a zig-zagging ball of light at a bus stop aged fifteen. In SHAUN RYDER ON UFOS, he states that he "wouldn't mind having a go at being abducted by aliens." This traumatic notion is scoffed at by The Aetherius Society, a phenomenon that is a clear inversion of their constructive, vision-driven teachings.

In this Channel 4 discussion, Ronson does not need to drive the conversation, rather reclines and prompts were necessary; he is respectful and asks what the guests constantly refer to as "good questions." The underlying theme of humanity needing to "wake up" is illustrated by notions that "famine is a crime" and unstable weather patterns are what "our Karma deserves." Despite the goofiness, a need for a balance between nature and humanity is a prophetic one, a cause which is more evident with every passing year. However, it does not seem that the teachings from "Mars Sector Six" and the visiting "Third Satellite" - an orbiting craft which injects humanity with enhanced spirituality - are really working.

Shown on the History Channel, SHAUN RYDER ON UFOS is a four-part investigation fronted by the always entertaining Happy Mondays and Black Grape kingpin. Shaun’s quest for the truth leads through the USA, Mayan ruins, and the aboriginal cave paintings of Australia. In the third episode - WORSHIP AND ABDUCTION - the presenter interviews Nick Pope in a tearoom, and attends an underwhelming meeting of The UFO Academy in Watford. Ryder's visit to the London offices of The Aetherius Society sees him greeted by Richard Lawrence, an executive secretary of the European division. Lawrence is much more congenial compared to the Mr Roberts encountered by Patrick Moore in CAN YOU TALK VENUSIAN?, inviting Shaun to witness a red-robed prayer session conveniently featuring a stunningly beautiful young woman. Although clearly still processing this more spiritual approach to Ufology, Shaun sees little difference in what is happening in Church congregations throughout the land.

King of Outer Space (Part I of II)

LIFELINE: MARS AND VENUS SPEAK TO EARTH (1959)

ONE PAIR OF EYES: CAN YOU SPEAK VENUSIAN? (1969)

"Service is the jewel in the rock of attainment;" George King is possessed by a Venusian Cosmic God on LIFELINE. According to his Aetherius Society, Mother Earth is a living Goddess who is sacrificing her own evolution to provide for humankind, "a backward and often barbaric race." By using Karma Yoga and Dynamic Prayer, followers bring positive change through the development of intuition and psychic ability. 

NOT to be confused with the celebrity-based appeal, LIFELINE was also a BBC discussion show. In a May 1959 edition, former fireman and taxi driver George King claims that in 1954 he was spoken to by Saturn's Interplanetary Parliament one Saturday morning, while doing the dishes. Becoming a conduit for aliens from a variety of planets, his new-found friends called him their "Mental Channel Number One." George finishes his contribution to the programme by donning transmission goggles and entering a trance, so that the Venusian Aetherius can give a religious-heavy warning about mankind's future. It's an unintentionally hilarious half-hour, made even more outlandish by the sheer politeness of the participants; even though King introduces the notion of organic metal and that UFOs can travel from Venus to Earth in 2.5 seconds, the resident astronomer and psychiatrists remain constructively dismissive.

The Aetherius Society - which King founded in 1955 - claims that we all have a debt to The Divine Source. As their website claims, "it exists everywhere - and it is everything. In fact, it is more even than that." They explain that science has not detected these civilisations because they exist at higher frequencies of vibration, Cosmic Masters who have in the past been born among us in order to give essential assistance: The Master Jesus, the Lord Buddha, Sri Krishna, Confucius et al. In explaining why these beings don't just come to Earth and sort us out, "due to the wrong thought and action of humankind for millennia, the balance of world karma at present is not good. This prevents more direct intervention from the Cosmic Masters, such as an open landing in a major city."

According to The Aetherius Society spokesman in a broadcast of ONE PAIR OF EYES, although there is no fixed description of Aetherius's appearance, typically Venusian's take on a very tall humanoid visage, with no pupils but with small feet. He adds that Saturn inhabitants have evolved into forty-foot ovoids, the same development that will bestow man.

One of The Society's "Holy Mountains" - a storing of collective positive energy through prayer - is located at Holdstone Down, on the edge of Exmoor near Combe Martin. King's mother once claimed to have been abducted by aliens on the open moorland, thereby enhancing its importance to the cause. In 1958 King claims to have encountered the arrival of a returning Jesus on a spaceship while at the Down. As George stated, "although he didn't tell me, I knew that he was Jesus and that he had come from the planet Venus - I didn't have to be told, I just knew this." A 1963 gathering was particularly important, as the founder had informed his brethren of an impending "large scale disease," and unless enough goodwill has been accumulated in the Holy Mountain the outcome could be catastrophic.

Patrick Moore has a show-stopping visit to The Aetherius Society during an episode of the BBC documentary strand ONE PAIR OF EYES, called CAN YOU SPEAK VENUSIAN? Moore's stance was to look at "independent" thinkers within an increasingly conventional world, though a more realistic label would be "delusional." One interviewee was a vicar who states that the Sun is not hot, while another claims to write and speak three interplanetary languages (which sound like extra-exciting conclusions to a horse racing commentary). When Patrick visits The Society's offices on the Fulham Road he is greeted by "Mr Roberts," who denounces mankind for the "materialistic trap" it built for itself. He explains that through this subscription to "material science" the human race once inhabited a planet which it blew up (which consequently formed the asteroid belt). Mr Roberts also sheds light on when Mars helped us out by destroying an invasion force of Fish-men, eager to take over Earth for its water content.

Prince of the Air

A GHOST STORY FOR CHRISTMAS - COUNT MAGNUS (2022)

Grave concerns for Jason Watkins as Mr Wraxhall.

IN 1863, British travelogue writer Mr Wraxhall (Jason Watkins) visits Råbäck Manor in Sweden, which was built by Count Magnus de la Gardie. Now occupied by Froken de la Gardie (MyAnna Buring), servant Gustav (Jamal Ajala) and a set of ancestral portraits, Wraxhall declines Froken's invitation to stay and boards at the local inn. Here he learns more about The Count from innkeeper Herr Nielsen (Max Bremer): Magnus was a merciless landowner who was also notorious for his Black Pilgrimage to the Holy Land, bringing something - or someone - back with him. Nielsen also recounts the tale of poachers on The Count’s lands, which resulted in one going mad and the other having the skin sucked from his face. Obsessed with this uncovering sinister world, Wraxhall visits Magnus's mausoleum, which is sealed by chains and padlocks. 

Faithfully adapted from the 1904 M.R. James story by Mark Gatiss, COUNT MAGNUS adds more layers of alchemy for its conclusion. Gatiss stands by James' ending to a point, as both feature the violent death of Wraxall, whose demise is ruled by jury to be caused "by visitation of God." In the original, the storyteller is revealed to be the man who acquired Wraxall's house, forced to demolish the property since nobody is willing to stay there. But here the narrator is revealed to be Magnus himself, his life prolonged by a deal with the devil, processing the tale from within his tomb. Before the credits we also see a modern-day young couple appear at the mausoleum, to illustrate that ages-old horror dictum, why don't you just leave such things alone ...

An illustration for Count Magnus by Rosemary Pardoe. Pardoe helmed the M.R. James related Ghosts & Scholars magazine for forty years.

Lawrence Gordon Clark originally intended Count Magnus to be the 1976 entry of the strand, before budgetary concerns and a consequent shift to THE SIGNALMAN. The soul of the text holds the half-hour together, and Watkins is perfect as the irritative researcher, suffering somewhat from an Englishman abroad syndrome (he acknowledges that the locale would be more akin to peasants, for example). It's a stoic entry in the series, with its festive notions of twisted family heritage and supernatural shenanigans, but there is too much daylight in this tale of darkness, and its locations never convince that we are anywhere near Scandinavia.

Tomorrow's Headlines Today

DOOM WATCH (1970 - 72)

DOOMWATCH (1972)

Cyberman creators Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis also spawned DOOM WATCH, a plausibly terrifying apocalyptic drama.

BETWEEN February 1970 and August 1972, the BBC broadcast three seasons of DOOM WATCH, a sobering set of cautionary tales created by DOCTOR WHO story editor Gerry Davis and medical scientist/author Kit Pedler. In the show, a Government sponsored organisation - led by Physicist Dr Spencer Quist (John Paul) - investigate ecological and technological dangers in stories influenced by contemporary cases. This "Department for the Observation and Measurement of Science" combated intelligent carnivorous rats, mind-destroying sound waves, toxic mutations and a plastic-eating virus, and a final episode - exploring permissiveness and its impact on human behaviour - was banned. This story, SEX AND VIOLENCE, courted controversy not for its subject matter but for a scene where the footage of a real-life African execution is shown. Even though the programme attempted to make the serious and valid point that watching genuine violence has a different effect on viewers than fantasy harm, the episode was nevertheless pulled by nervous executives.

DOOM WATCH was one of the first examples of environmentally conscious television, where its audience were forced to think about the consequences of unregulated commercial exploitation of Earth’s resources (it was also one of the first to kill off its star - young chemist Toby Wren (Robert Powell) - after its first season). Prescient on a number of topics, it also influenced alarmist science fiction in general, despite basic production values, gaudy fashions and typical 1970s attitudes towards women. At one point the British Government considered setting up a real-life equivalent, with Labour MP Ray Fletcher planning a Westminster committee to include Pedler among its members. DOOM WATCH itself disappointingly succumbed to that popular mantra "creative differences," after friction with producer Terence Dudley.

DOOM WATCH followed in the footsteps of QUATERMASS and DOCTOR WHO to the silver screen with a limp, despite great make-up by British legend Tom Smith.

Helmed by Peter Sasdy from a Clive Exton script, the Tigon movie version sidelines the TV regulars - Quist, Dr John Ridge (Simon Oates), computer expert Colin Bradley (Joby Blanshard) and Dr Fay Chantry (Jean Trend) - for new character Dr Del Shaw (Ian Bannen). Shaw travels to the Cornish island of Balfe (actually Polkerris) to investigate the effects of oil pollution, where only school teacher Victoria Brown (Judy Geeson) gives him any kind of welcome. It is discovered that the islanders are suffering from acromegaly, brought on from a diet of contaminated fish. This has been caused by the Navy - headed by a disinterested George Sanders - legitimately dumping radioactive material near Castle Rock, which has reacted with a failed hormone dumped by a ramshackle waste company.

DOOMWATCH adheres to its umbrella brief of shady failed science, and belongs to that subgenre of cinema - which includes THE CRAZIES and C.H.U.D. - where ordinary folk are transformed into monsters because of unorganised or callous corporations. Whereas the television programme often suffered from verbal diarrhea, in an era where the medium was still viewed in many ways as theatre rather than film, the actual DOOMWATCH movie wastes its cinematic scope and location by becoming a plodding horror. The performances are earnest, but it would have played out better as a reworked one-off TV special.

Beyond the Engrave

A GHOST STORY FOR CHRISTMAS - THE MEZZOTINT (2021)

Nikesh Patel, Rory Kinnear and Robert Bathurst in this fifteenth instalment of the famous BBC strand, and the eleventh based on M. R. James.

INCLUDED in Ghost Stories of an Antiquary, M. R. James' The Mezzotint tells of Williams, the curator of a university art museum. He receives a nighttime country house engraving which changes each time you look at it, and one depiction shows a skeletal figure carrying a baby from the dwelling. It is surmised that vengeful poacher Gawdy has returning from the dead to kidnap and murder the infant heir of Arthur Francis, after Gawdy had been hanged for shooting a gamekeeper while on Francis' land.

Adapted and directed by Mark Gatiss, there are several changes to the source: the obligatory contemporary inclusion of females (amateur paleontologist Mrs Ambrigail (Frances Barber), housekeeper Mrs Filcher (Emma Cunniffe) and a debate on granting degrees to woman; the diversity need for Williams' colleague Nesbit to be of Indian descent (Nikesh Patel); plus Williams (Rory Kinnear)'s heritage is tied into the Francis line. This latter deviation sets up a tacked on EC comics-style conclusion, as the creature's entry to the house - contorting through a window frame and falling cloaked onto the floor - owes more than a passing nod to a Barlow entrance from Tobe Hooper's SALEM'S LOT.

The Mezzotint is the fourth Mark Gatiss entry, labeling it a "love letter" to the 1970s productions of Lawrence Gordon Clark.

Gatiss provides a tight half-hour entertainment, but treads a now over-familiar ambience. Even with the box-ticking tweaks, modern audiences cannot fully focus on James's slow-moving "world without women" in our age of instant self-gratification. The solitary academics and "things better left alone" bring an air of mystery more akin to the 1970s series, when the pre-digital age breathed a nostalgic and non streamable air. As the BFI's Dick Fiddy states about the initial broadcasts: "they went out late at night, when television wasn't a 24-hour experience, probably watched by the dying embers of the fire before the viewer turned in for the night; the nightmarish quality of the stories would linger as they went to bed. Such conditions can magnify the power of the pieces, adding to their creepiness and helping the tales imbed themselves within impressionable minds."

Doctor In Distress

K-9 AND COMPANY - A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND (1981)

"Black magic, witchcraft, it's very romantic, but this is 1981"; Elisabeth Sladen and K-9 do their best with a Satan meets EMMERDALE setting.

PRODUCER John Nathan-Turner was in charge of DOCTOR WHO's increasingly disastrous stint through the 1980s. In Richard Marson's 2013 book The Life and Scandalous Times of John Nathan-Turner, it is alleged that the producer and long-term partner Gary Downie prayed on young fans well below the then gay consent age of twenty-one. But the results on screen were equally alarming, not helped by Nathan-Turner's tumultuous working relationship with script editor Eric Saward. Against a backdrop of referencing - which both limited writers and confused the casual viewer - light entertainment performers also consistently appeared rather than those from the drama department. Novelty casting was evident even in the companions, with Australian air-stewardess Tegan Jovanka (Janet Fielding) for the large fan base Down Under, and American Peri Brown (Nicola Bryant) appealing to the vastly increasing United States market. Then there were The Doctors he signed themselves: Peter Davison, Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy were all dissatisfied with quirky costume decisions, adding to the pantomime feel.

Nathan-Turner always hated K-9, but admitted the robot dog "had legs" because of its popularity with youngsters. The first DOCTOR WHO spinoff, K-9 AND COMPANY, was made to plug the (relatively long) broadcasting gap between Tom Baker and Davison's tenure (an unprecedented season of repeats under the banner THE FIVE FACES OF DOCTOR WHO additionally helped). Nathan-Turner failed to lure Elisabeth Sladen back into the main programme, resulting in her "compromise" casting here. It was also intended to be a pilot for a series, but was never commissioned; fans blamed new BBC controller Alan Hart as viewing figures were strong, but in reality K-9 AND COMPANY is a talkative bore.

John Nathan-Turner regularly threatened to mould DOCTOR WHO in his own image. This included trying to abolish the sonic screwdriver and the police box appearance of the TARDIS (briefly achieved in ATTACK OF THE CYBERMEN), and successfully driving out Tom Baker. 

The awkwardly titled A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND, with a running time of fifty minutes, was helmed by television veteran John Black, who was apparently labeled John Grey by the cast and crew because of his lifeless direction (another TV regular penned the laboured script - Terence Dudley). For the story, The Doctor gifts a Mark III K-9 (voiced by John Leeson) to former companion Sarah Jane Smith (Sladen). Now back to her roots as a rustic-costumed investigative journalist in the fictional English village of Moreton Harwood, Sarah Jane gains a companion of her own - her aunt's ward Brendan Richards (a wooden Ian Sears) - in a tale of the black arts. But before the underwhelming robed pagans and masked goddesses, we are subjected to one of the worst opening title sequences in television history; the theme was originally composed by record producer Ian Levine as an orchestral score, but was instead arranged directly from his electronic demonstration by Peter Howell without Levine's knowledge.

Black Smoke and Red Dust

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS (2019)

Eleanor Tomlinson and Rafe Spall run from a Martian war machine in a promotional image. For this version, the familiar steampunk design for the alien "boilers on stilts" are replaced with a more organic, insectoid look.

PETER Harness' three-part BBC adaptation of H.G. Wells' seminal invasion novel is not only the first British television stab at the story, but one that follows a female lead. Even before the Martians arrive, Amy (Eleanor Tomlinson) and partner George (Rafe Spall) have problems. In quite the Edwardian scandal, George has left his wife/cousin for the younger Amy, which has caused friction with his politician brother Frederick (Rupert Graves). Denied a divorce, Amy announces she is expecting George's baby. It seems their only friends are sprightly astronomer Ogilvy (Robert Carlyle) and maid Mary (Freya Allan), although the latter is killed under a pile of rubble during the first wave of attacks. 

Wells' narrator hero is described as a "professed and recognised writer on philosophical themes," yet here George is a Woking journalist and superficial wet fish, branded a coward by his ex-wife and failing to help a dying soldier. The flash forward/back structure of the leading players separation denies any workable screen time for Amy and George, which is probably for the best, as when they do share scenes Tomlinson and Spall's chemistry is insipid (Spall seems under varying levels of sedation). Thankfully this is Amy's tale, providing much needed ballast in what is more than just an angle on our current fixation with political correctness; unlike most female evaluations of major franchises, the character is intelligent and driven in complex, emotional situations.

Over 120 years after its first serialisation, the influence of H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds remains; this is because of the heady contexts, which include colonialism, natural selection and religion. Pictured is Frank R. Paul's cover for Amazing Stories, August 1927.

The main allegory of Wells' novel - decaying imperialism - is illustrated by Amy having been raised in the British Raj, and the jingoistic comments of the military and politicians. "It seems that something has arrived in England" announces Chamberlain (Nicholas Le Prevost), a battle cry that today can be viewed as xenophobia. Initially planned to screen over the 2018 festive season, it would have been particularly hard for the masses to swallow such a slow, doom-laden miniseries; the death and devastation is shrouded in war machine black smoke and wasteland red hues, highlighting another interpretation of the narrative: climate change. In fact The War of the Worlds has always portrayed a foreboding and prophetic end of days template: Orson Welles' radio broadcast occurred during the escalation of Nazi Germany, George Pal's 1953 film was released at the start of the Cold War, and Steven Spielberg, following his 2005 big screen take, said that "after 9/11 [the book] began to make more sense to me."

Beware the Triffids

THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS (1962)

THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS (2009)

"Beware the Triffids ... they grow ... know ... walk ... talk ... stalk ... and kill!" Also known for her roles in SCHOOL FOR SCOUNDRELS and PARANOIAC!, Janette Scott - the daughter of Thora Hird - has husband and killer plant trouble in THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS. 

FOR the wayward Security Pictures version of THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS, the eponymous organism arrives on Earth from a meteor shower; Triffids are mobile carnivorous plants which can communicate with each other and possess a whip-like, venomous sting. The narrative follows two strands: American Navy officer Bill Masen (Howard Keel) is recovering from an eye operation in a London hospital, where his bandages have shielded him from a celestial event which has blinded most people. With society disintegrating Masen rescues schoolgirl Susan (Janina Faye) from a crashed train, leading them to a continental journey of survival. Meanwhile alcoholic scientist Tom Goodwin (Kieron Moore) and wife Karen (Janette Scott) battle a Triffid siege at a Cornish Lighthouse; Goodwin eventually discovers that salt water dissolves the multicellular menace.

In John Wyndham's source novel, nation state erosion as a result of mass blindness is used to explore social and political anxieties of the postwar period. This Wellsian apocalypse has Wyndham questioning methods of communal organisation and scientific ideas, including evolution and genetic mutation. However all is dispatched in this elementary adaptation for a generic monster movie. The hairy Triffids even move in the opposite way described in the book, by extending a pseudopod and dragging the "body" forward (trivially, their odd clucking sound was allegedly achieved by smoking a bong).

"When the solid world of everyday reality disintegrates ... and the whole population is driven by fear towards insanity." It can only be Howard Keel in THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS.

Directed by Hungarian Istvan Szekely - credited as Steve Sekely - and written by Bernard Gordon, both financiers (Rank in the UK and USA's Allied Artists) only accepted around an hour of Szekely's completed footage, which was a problem for a projected ninety minute feature. Consequently Gordon wrote the Lighthouse subplot to crank up the terror and the Triffids, and push the running time to the required length (Freddie Francis directing the sequences at Shepperton). At least this enabled Scott to be referenced in the opening song of THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW ("and I really got hot when I saw Janette Scott fight a Triffid that spits poison and kills.") The film also greatly influenced the 1965 AVENGERS episode MAN-EATER OF SURREY GREEN, where a plant from outer space takes horticulturists as prisoners in an effort to germinate the world.

After their highly regarded and faithful adaptation of 1981, the BBC returned to the world of the Triffids in a 2009 all-star version. Placed into modern concerns ("Triffid oil saved the world from global warming"), the mass blinding is also more plausibly caused by solar flares, and environmental protestor Walter Strange (Ewen Bremner) sets the plant threat in motion. We follow Biologist Bill Masen (Dougray Scott) and BBC radio reporter Jo Playton (Joely Richardson), as they encounter a number of factions attempting to restore order on their own terms. Major Coker (Jason Priestley) starts a compassionate group, which is soon taken over by the tyrannical Torrence (Eddie Izzard), who forms a garrison in London. Torrence deliberately tells Jo that Bill is dead so he can claim her for himself, in fact Masen and Coker start a trek to find a solution to the soon-sporing Triffid problem.

"The Human race has had its day;" Mist-shrouded Triffids on the march for THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS. In John Wyndham's original prose, their true origin is never explained, but surmised they are a result of biological meddling. For the 2009 mini-series, the plants naturally occur in Zaire.

THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS has little interest in sociological perspective, with this stylized two-part, three hour take focusing on human conflict and resentment. Richardson makes for a bland heroine, and Izzard's amateur dictator hilariously survives a plane crash on a par with Brad Pitt in WORLD WAR Z. One typically bombastic difference to the book is the use of Durrant. In Wyndham, Miss Durrant naively tries to create a Christian community; here Durrant (Richardson's mother, Vanessa Redgrave) is an unhinged nun who feeds the weakest in her flock to the Triffids. Other aspects are added, the most notable being Bill's father Dennis (Brian Cox), attempting to cure the plant plague by cross-pollination. But the real stars are the CGI effects and animatronics, which give the Triffids a sense of brooding menace. Their appearances and attacks are excitingly staged, heads snapping like Cobras and roots creeping like a Lovecraftian horror.